Poetic Collections Volume 1

Just found out today that Ive been put in the acknowledgements of a friends new book :)

Alot of the poems in this book can be related to by just about everyone, definatly worth a read!

Link to the book;

 http://www.lulu.com/product/paperback/poetic-collections-volume-1/12799386?productTrackingContext=search_results/search_shelf/center/1#reviewSection

Let me know what you guys think :)

Sorry guys

Just a quick note to the zero people that read this.

We haven't had any time to blog recently. We are planning a trip across the country! We will be back, blogging, very soon though.

The girls xx

Always check what your wearing before you leave the house

I don’t know about the rest of you but when I was really young my mum would dress me for school. I didn’t even think about what I was putting on. The first time I got dressed for my self I was 5 and in my first year of school.

I wanted to wear a dress. I got out of bed, stripped down and put my dress on. As we were leaving my mum asked if I was ready. I said yes without even really thinking about it. “Have you got knickers on?” Again, without really thinking about what she said, I said yes so off we went.

As my mum walked away from me, and out of the school, I realised what she had asked me at home and what the answer should have been.

I walked in class balling my eyes out, and sat all awkward on the floor with the rest of the class. The teacher asked me what was wrong. “I don’t know” was my answer.

How could I say to my teacher, in front of the class, that I had forgotten to put underwear on?

The teacher just let me sit there crying while she taught whatever it was we learning. My friends were sitting around me asking me what was wrong. Of course I couldn’t tell them either.

By recess I had stopped crying and figured if I just lay low and didn’t move around to much no one would know. If it wasn’t for my so-called friend, Amanda I think her name was, it wouldn’t have been such a traumatic day. It was the first time I realised how horrible people can be.

After we ate our morning tea, Amanda and some other girls where doing dizzy wizzys. Of course I couldn’t join in. I sat on the bench next to them and watched. At least I tried to watch. That stupid cow, Amanda, said to me “If you don’t do it too you aren’t our friend anymore.” What was I meant to do? I said that I couldn’t and that I didn’t want to be there friend anyway. I can’t remember what the said but I walked off and looked at a huge Huntsman spider that was in some cubby house thing there.

When we went into class I had to sit next to her. She wasn’t being mean any more but I wanted revenge anyway. We were meant to be quiet while we worked so I put my hand up and told the teacher she was trying to talk to me and get the answers off me, thinking that she would get in trouble.

I must have “trouble maker” written all over me because I got in trouble for that. Stupid teacher. She tells the class to be quiet and when I say someone isn’t doing what she said I get the blame. I was told to pick up all my things and move the other side of the room if it was bothering me. Hmph. So I did. Well I tried. As I got up Amanda knocked my tin of pencils out my hand and sent them flying. I got in trouble for making noise.

I can never win. 

Love IS blind, see .....

To commemorate the 1 year anniversary of my singledom I have compiled a list of reasons why it should have happened earlier:

10. The time he emptied all the sand out of the sand filter, because he thought it was sand that had been filtered out of the pool.

9. The time he was so drunk he peed in his sleep, on my head.

8. The time he was so mad that KFC had put up the prices of their nugget combo, he reversed out of the drive through straight into an industrial bin smashing up the back of his BRAND NEW car

7. The time he was so mad that our gorgeous little baby puppy peed on the bed that he threw her off it, into a bollard and broke her knee.

6. And then complained about the 2000 dollar bill for her knee reconstruction

5. The time he got so wasted at a cricket wind up that he was escorted out of the casino, somehow made it home and came up with some bullshit story of what happened. Seriously never found out the truth but if the story he told me was the best he could come up with, I don’t wanna know.

4. The time I got home from work, found my phone where I had left it, but with a giant crack down the screen, and him denying ever touching it. Even agreeing after I suggested “So, someone broke in, didn’t steal anything, just picked my phone up smashed the screen, and put it back where they found it?”

3. The time he stole money off me and denied it.

2. The way he would read the newspaper, believe everything written in it and pass the authors opinion off as his own.

1. And finally, the time he wrote in giant letters, on my lounge room wall FUCK THIS SHIT. He had started in pencil, but clearly wasn’t getting the effect he wanted, so proceeded in crayon. I don’t know what the shit was he wanted fucking, still don’t know now.

In my defence, I did check out of the relationship after he wrote on the wall, but circumstances kept us together, again a different story.

Its hard to believe I spent so long with him. I invested all of me into him, and our relationship, and keeping up appearances, that I lost me. All of me. And while this last year has had bunch of ups and downs, things are only looking up from here.

Hungry Molly is hungry

Molly says: 
omg 
seriously 
im hungry 
i feel like a fat kid that hasnt eaten in like an hour 
going to dye
*die 

Michael says: 
hahahahaha 

Molly says: 
^a blonde fat kid obviously 
im that gif 
that fat kid with the donut 

Michael says: 
ahahahahah 
yea 

Molly says: 
cept imagin the donut is hanging in front of me just out of reach 

*epic sad face* 

Michael says: 

LOL naaawwww 

Molly says: 
im gettin gone of the Ethiopia bellys 
from not eating 

Michael says: 
lol.. 
thats why your putting on weight! 
need to eat more!..but not crap 

Molly says: 
moar nandos yes 

Michael says: 
omnomnomnomnom!

Being single

I haven’t been single for this long ever. And being shy, not getting out much and all my friends being married or attached, I decided to try out a dating site. Oasis Active. I joined because it is free and I am a cheapskate. Besides true love shouldn’t cost you anything right? So I made my profile. It sucked and it still does, despite promises of adding more detail later. Only ever drunk when I am on there, I chat with some interesting people. I thought I would share my first real life meeting. Because if I had to experience it, you do too. That’s just how I roll…
Ballroom, I shall call him. Ballroom lived with his parents, worked as a metallurgist but was in between jobs atm, liked horses, ballroom dancing, and long walks on the beach.


Now, I can’t take all the credit here. I did the leg work, but really had no intention of meeting anyone from there. Especially for long walks on the beach. It was my friend Jeff that encouraged it. He saw his picture, thought he was cute. Said I should go for it. And why not? I have nothing to lose right?


So, it was a Friday night. I hadn’t seen Jeff for months as a result of the fallout from an argument with a mutual friend. I later learned he had been warned off me, by said mutual friend, but that’s a different story. Anyway. I hadn’t seen him for months. I enjoy his company. He’s the kind of guy everyone needs in their life. He will be your ‘Yes’ man, your ‘Oh no she didn’t’ man, ‘Oh lord you didn’t’, and your ‘Advice you don’t want to hear but need’ to guy. I wanted to impress. I wanted to prove that I was all normal and fun and shit now. So naturally, booze was involved. Because that’s where my charm starts. It was fun. He even got his mum to drop off his Guitar Hero things. His mum is a champ :)


We listened to music, danced, sang, drank. I showed him my online account and the people I was chatting to. Then something happened. The beginning of the end of Jenna as we knew her, and my new motto ‘Why not? What have you got lose?’


The batteries for the Wii remote ran out, so we couldn’t play guitar hero anymore. What to do, what to do? Surprisingly, go to bed never entered our minds. But with dutch courage, and Jeff’s encouragement, I signed back into my dating site. Surely there was a guy that I had been chatting to, that lived locally, who could bring us some. And there was…. Enter Ballroom


Its 2am.


Being as drunk as I was, and as new to dating as I was, I didn’t understand what needing batteries implied. On a dating site. On a Friday night, at 2am. I honestly just needed batteries.


So he comes over. With his giant pack of batteries and his backpack.


I am so drunk I can’t see. However, what I do see isn’t a lot like his picture from the site. He looks about 17, a lot skinnier, and a lot geekier. I feel I have pulled him away from WoW.


He looks a little like he did in his pic, like it's his him, but different. And this is the first guy I have met from there. Boy am I in for disappointment with guys and their pics. Heads up, they rarely look like them. But I am so drunk. I literally can’t see. So maybe it’s just me.


The poor guy. My first since the last and I am a mess. I offer him a drink, which he declines, and introduce him to Jeff. I don’t even bother with small talk; seriously, just get the batteries in the remote. He didn’t initiate conversation either. I can’t decide if that is because he is as boring as batshit, or that I was so drunk he just didn’t bother trying. I prefer the former, because that way, it wasn’t just me, and had we met in other circumstances, the result would have been the same. Hey, truth is all about perception, and this girl’s perception is just fine behind these rose coloured glasses.


I am slurring the words in the mic, Jeff plays guitar and Ballroom plays drums. I am not even making words. It’s all just a slur that sometimes hits between the bars.


We sing a couple of songs, and then I ask him to leave. I need water and sleep. He packs his giant pack of batteries into his back pack and leaves.


Me and Jeff speculate about what he has in his backpack. It is at this point I do realise what is implied when you invite a guy from a dating site over at 2am. We also speculate as to why he has such a giant pack of batteries. They were already open, so its not like he picked them up from a petrol station on the way. We decide it's because, obviously, this kinda thing happens all the time in the singlesphere, and he is just prepared. Like a boyscout. And, as we all know, drunken epiphanies equal the truth.


The fallout tomorrow was my roommate giving me a lot of shit, Jeff assuring me it was fine, and, not surprisingly, Ballroom never talking to me again. I was too embarrassed to try and initiate contact after that, even to offer an apology. And let that die a quick death


So lame beginning, but a start nonetheless.

When men try to do the laundry

Michael says:

hai

Molly says:

you home now?

Michael says:

yea got the washing machine fixed ima chuck

all the towels in since we got none :/ can mix white and blue yes/no?

Michael has buzzed you!

Molly says:

no white with white

only

ever

brb

Michael says:

oi!!

use the powder or liquid?

and its a scoop/lid of the stuff into the first slot (bigger slot) right???

Michael has buzzed you!

Molly says:

lol i wasnt here

Michael says:

i know lol

u still read the question?

Molly says:

what is the liquid?

detyergent or softener?

and detergent goes in the biggest ones

bleech goes in the left one i think

softener in the right im not sure depends on the picture on the holes

Michael says:

oh um hang on

the liquid is fabric conditioner and the pictures go from left

to right and look like... |_ii_| Flower and |_i_|

Michael has buzzed you!

Molly says:

LOL

stop doing that im working

which one is the biggest hole

Michael says:

the left which is

the |_II_| pic and the flower (middle) is the thinnest

Molly says:

yup

Michael says:

what goes in what

Molly says:

powder goes in the left

softerner in the middle

bleech in the right

Michael says:

okay

Molly says:

but i dont think i trust you with bleach

Michael says:

so a cap of each thing yes?

Molly says:

and dont fill it up

what fabric softer is it?

a big bottle?

or a small one?

Michael says:

blue stuff

 big

Molly says:

 colour doesnt matter

ok

take the cap off is the cap long?

Michael says:

hang on

sorta yea

Molly says:

fill that

Michael says:

okay and a full scoop of powder?

Molly says:

yup

Michael says:

and dont fill the bleech cap?

Molly says:

no no no no

well if you want

Michael says:

:/

Molly says:

but i dont want you to fuck it

Michael says:

how much bleach

 should i put

tell me how much and i wont

Molly says:

 i dunno i dont measure

i just pour

Michael says:

the cap for the bleech is tiny like

coke bottle size etc

Molly says:

  i know

you dont use it

wait

im not even sure we have bleech

only floor bleech

leave the bleech

Michael says:

umm lemme check..

we got 2 i think

Molly says:

 ugh

youve gotta make sure the washing maching water level is on high

Michael says:

  we got 'gold n black regular bleech'

Molly says:

nope that floor bleech

Michael says:

got a pic of a washing thing on it

and it says on the instructions soak a peice of cloth

or some shit

Molly says:

:/

Michael says:

ah fack it

u can do it

lol

cbf now

Molly says:

hahaha

just dont do the bleech

you dont need it anyway

its only towels

lol

Michael says:

can i leave it on while i go pick u up?

Molly says:

LOL

of course

just make sure the water level is high

Michael says:

k.

Molly says:

haha

leave it

Michael says:

stop laughing at me women

Molly says:

ill show you when i get home

Michael says:

not like ive done this shit before lol

good idea lol.

Molly says:
 Hahahahahahah hilarious